Bastante.

I'm not sure exactly what happened, but since Tuesday I have been officially ready to go home.  I think it's just a combination of the facts that the charm of México is being worn down by my constant exposure, that I have limited patience (okay, 2 months' worth) for most of the people here, and that I feel more or less totally disconnected from my life in Iowa - you know, the life that is actually my life instead of a surreal Spanglish dream.

 

Another thing that is beginning to grate on me is the racism.  I know, I know, a white male talking about being subject to racism... But the fact is, being here has really given me a better understanding of the form it takes in the modern world.  It isn't so much the kind of racism you can legislate against, but just the mannerisms of some people, the way that they never let me forget that I am in fact not one of them.  It's not uncommon to have people shout "¡Gringo!" at me as I walk down the street, or to have people stare at me for unnatural lengths of time - and I swear that every Mexican thinks that his English is better than my Spanish (obviously true with some, like the fluent Jorge, but painful with others - like the cop who tried for two minutes to think of the word "block" while I repeatedly suggested "cuadra").  People frequently cut in front of me in line, taxi drivers always try to rip me off by outrageous amounts.  Really, just a bunch of petty little things, but after two months of it, I'm fed up.  I've started retaliating with "¡Frijolero!" (which isn't too insulting - I don't want to get killed) and the occasional rude gesture.  I also finally understand the impulse to reclaim the label you've been given - why some black people refer to themselves as niggers, and homosexuals as queers.  I'm not saying it's a great idea, but it's understandable.  It's strange to be constantly aware of your race - I don't know if I could do it for a lifetime.

 

Just as a disclaimer, a huge number of Mexicans have treated me very well, either just as another person or by noting my obvious gringosity and helping me out or just having a nice conversation.  I'm not trying to say that Mexicans are racist, just that I'm being exposed to the global contingent of assholes in a way that I'm not used to.

 

I did go to Puebla this weekend, which is a lovely colonial city with great food.  I basically just ate and looked at colonial architecture the entire time.  The churches are very Spanish, and some of them have distinctly Arab influences, which was just bizarre to see in México.  I did stop by the forts where the battle of Cinco de Mayo took place - the Mexicans repelled an invading French army while outnumbered 3 to 1.  Nevermind that the French came back the next year and captured the city.  All in all a nice place, but at this point I've seen about seven million churches in Mexico.  It's enough.

 

I think I'm going to Guanajuato this weekend.  But really, I just don't feel like I have a great deal left to do here.  I think I'm more or less done learning the Spanish that I can learn in a classroom setting - I can write essays with very few flaws - I just need to broaden my vocabulary and practice.  That's the work of the lifetime, against which these remaining three weeks will hardly make a dent, so - can I just come home now?